So much pain, so much beauty

I'm often surprised when people ask me if my condition causes pain. Most days it feels like someone beat me up in my sleep… But because the condition is invisible… no one can see the damage. This image does a good job portraying what my body feels like 80% of the time... Except that the lower extremities are affected just as much. This image also does not represent the horrible G.I. symptoms, nerve pain, migraines or unbelievable weakness.

I don't take any pain medications for my condition because they're problematic and cause other problems for me. So what do I do about all this pain?  It's hard. My nice family lets me rest as much as I need so I have a lot of down time to recover, think, stare at the ceiling and recently I've been listening to lots of music.

Sometimes I feel sorry for able-bodied humans busy with the hustle and bustle of life, because with my slower, cooped up pace...I listen to lots of music... Sometimes for hours trying to soak up every good bit. So far, it helps me more than pain medication. It's healing for the body AND soul. This might sound crazy, but I think music sounds even better when you're sick or hurting. Imagine when you are feverish with flu and you have that crazy, slightly irrational mentality??? When you have chronic pain… You are always flooded with that same heaviness, dread and doom in the body. You are desperate to cling on to something beautiful and good. So for me beautiful music resets my well-being and helps me in a way that pain meds can't. Ultimately it's God touching down in my life which I am so thankful for. Even when the lyrics don't explicitly worship him... They don't need to for me to know that he is there & hasn't left me sick and alone.

Here's what's on my playlist recently: Nick Cave, New Romantics from the 80s, British invasion bands, Larry Norman, The Beatles, Tmbg, the cure, bob Dylan, Johnny cash, wings, Steve & Charlotte from Calvary, rem, Mozart, the beach boys, early century folk & field recordings, spirituals, & I recently had an unexpected worshipful experience recently with 'devil went down to Georgia'.

So what music transforms you?  I would love to stumble on to something wonderful post 1990s ;)